Wednesday, April 22, 2009
The Privileged Mooncalf
The CFO began his speech as soon as we arrived.
"Ladies and gentlemen thank you for coming. As most of you already know, our company has been absorbed by a New York bank. We have recently been informed that they will be closing all offices here, and transferring all administrative and executive powers to their branch in New York. There are just a few hand picked people that have been offered the opportunity to transfer to the New York branch and stay with the company. The rest of us are being let go.
Please remain calm, and I ask you, please, resist the urge to behave in an unprofessional manner. There has already been an assault on one of our executives. Many executives, myself included, are not going to be with the company any longer. So please understand that we are going through the same thing that everyone else is. We must all bond together, keeping our heads held high, and do what we must with dignity."
He went on like that for a little while and then his little speech took a defensive turn.
"I must impress on you all that I myself, and many of the other executives had no knowledge that such mistakes were being made. These credit default swaps and risky investment strategies were simply a small part of a large machine that was our banking institution. We were unaware of the Malfeasance that was behind the losses that our bank endured. I would like you all to know that we did not intend for any of this to happen. It pains me to be the one to have to tell all of you that our institution has met its end after a century of service to the American people and the world."
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit... The truth about these jerks is plain. They knew what was going on the whole time and none of them could stop because the money was pouring in like gangbusters. This poor mooncalf will have to crawl back to his horribly giant uptown apartment, and will be forced to spend more time on his yacht. He'll probably be forced to spend more time with his family as well. Boo hoo... Yeah, right, He knows exactly what I'm about to be going through.
At the end of his speech, we were all told to gather our things. We had the rest of the afternoon to clean out our office spaces of personal effects.
What will I do now...